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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Live now on Telegram:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Just shared via Messenger:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Going viral on TikTok:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Just landed via Discord:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

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I hope this email keeps you awake at night.
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Commentary:
"Sending this email was the adult version of saying 'I dare you to sleep tonight!' 😴📧😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

72 shares on X this month:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Live now on Twitch:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Going bananas on Discord:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

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