Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Spending all day cleaning the house is like sending a message to your roommates: 'This is a museum now, so please only touch the furniture with your mind.' 🧹✨ #CleanlinessIsNextToSolitude"

bottom, chores, cleaning, here, house, humor, i, irony, just, living, need, sarcasm, stop, top

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

0

1 month ago

anyone, body, emotion, ever, handle, humor, love, loving, relationship, romantic, romantic relationship, self-deprecation, stress
Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

0

2 months ago

humor, increase, Instagram, intelligence, IQ, media, social, social media, technology, uninstall
Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

0

2 months ago

change, changes, everything, humor, me, optimism, software, technology, update, Windows
I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

0

2 months ago

breathe, breathlessness, existence, humor, i, ignore, love, lovey-dovey, man, marriage, marry, masculine, relationship, tall, tall man
Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

0

2 months ago

balance, before, care, cycle, education, good, health, humor, idea, life, mental, mental cycle, mental health, putting, self, self-care, stress, student, student life
“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

0

2 months ago

car, chores, clean, cleaning, everyday, everyday life, give, humor, life, ride, sarcastic, shower, town, transportation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Telegram this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

22 shares on Threads this month:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Making waves on Slack:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Just shared via Reddit:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Live now on Discord:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Just landed via Reddit:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Just shared via WeChat:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Going viral on X:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨