Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, I see you have a penchant for unique preferences! 🤓😂 Perhaps you should stick to admiring your women and glasses separately, just to be safe! 👓😉"

comparison, glasses, humor, i, joke, preference, thick, transparent, uneven, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

0

2 months ago

count, date, dating, going, humor, joke, me, relationship, sarcasm
Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

0

2 months ago

chores, daily, daily routine, exercise, fitness, humor, laundry, motivation, results, routine, working, workout
I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

0

2 months ago

communication, even, expert, Funny, funny story, having, humor, joke, language, mistake, story, storytelling, tell, wording
Single, not sure how to mingle.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, dating, humor, mingle, relationship, single, social, sure
Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

0

2 months ago

bottle, childhood, drop, humor, nostalgia, parents, phone, school, snacks, survival, us, used, water, water bottle
If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

0

2 months ago

cheering, fan, Fan humor, friends, friendship, humor, movie, movie quote, star, Star Wars, stormtrooper, wars

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

37 shares on WeChat this month:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Going bananas on Threads:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Seen just now on Discord:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Spotted on Threads:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Going viral on YouTube:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Just landed via Twitch:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨