I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Salt is just angry sugar.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.