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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,046

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Just landed via TikTok:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, a statistic I can trust… or can I? 🤔😂 #TruthfulDeception"

believe, humor, i, internet, misinformation, online, read, sarcasm, skepticism, somewhere, true, truth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

1 month ago
always, brain, breasts, convertible, humor, mean, means, topless, wit, wordplay
A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

1 month ago
buy, clothes, fashion, humor, irony, lot, money, need, people, perception, right, shopping, think, wealth
Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

1 month ago
able, another, behavior, being, celebrity, gossip, jobless, jobless behavior, media, notice, observation, seriously, social, social media, unfollow
My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

1 month ago
2, after, awkwardness, forgetting, interaction, me, memory, move, name, seconds, signature, signature move, social, social interaction, tell
No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

1 month ago
Blue’s Clues, blues, clues, comedy, depression, health, humor, mental, mental health, symptoms, wordplay
“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

5 months ago
budget, clothing, eating, finance, food, humor, lifestyle, money, spending, where

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Breaking via Twitch:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Just landed via YouTube:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Just shared via Reddit:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

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I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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