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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Trending via Reddit:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Just landed via Slack:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Spotted on Slack:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Just shared via Instagram:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Making waves on Discord:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Live now on YouTube:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Shared recently on X:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Always thought the blue heart was just a cold, tiny ocean for my drama llama to swim in. 🌊💙😂

coding, color, color coding, communication, emoji, emoji meaning, heart, heart emoji, humor, i, learn, meaning, means, refuse, relationship, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

0

2 months ago

activity, adulthood, count, errand, going, going out, humor, life, life stage, place, stage
Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

0

2 months ago

count, humor, i, insomnia, joke, night, relatable, sheep, sleep, stress, troubles, why
Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

0

2 months ago

alike, appearance, boredom, comparison, dropped, family, going, humor, joke, just, later, me, nothing, participation, sibling, teasing, twins
Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

0

2 months ago

believe, box, food, grocery, humor, i, need, packaging, pasta, plastic, plastic window, sarcasm, window
I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

0

2 months ago

activity, bar, entertainment, every, fun, fun activity, going, humor, karaoke, music, ono, parody, performance, sing, singing, song, style, tomorrow, where, yoko, Yoko Ono
Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

0

2 months ago

app, challenge, dating, difficulty, humor, level, love, online, online dating, option, relationship, search, searching, settings, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

10 shares on X this month:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Just landed via Instagram:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Just shared via Twitch:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Just shared via TikTok:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Spotted on X:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Spreading quickly via X:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Making waves on Messenger:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨