Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Making waves on Discord:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Seen just now on Slack:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew my inner thoughts had such an enthusiastic fan club! 🤯😂✨

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

0

3 weeks ago

concern, engagement, grave, humor, irony, likes, media, post, produce, social, social media, zero
According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

0

2 months ago

anything, believe, humor, irony, people, perception, research, skepticism, study
The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

0

4 months ago

anything, budget, diet, eating, finance, humor, joke, lack, lifestyle, money, poverty
I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

0

2 months ago

fighter, food, humor, lover, relationship, snack, snacker
I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

0

1 month ago

6, 6 p.m., air, around, call, energy, feel, funny observation, i, meeting, microsoft, Microsoft Teams, observation, p.m., remote, remote work, Sunday, swear, Teams, video, video call, work, work meeting
I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

0

2 months ago

advice, employment, financial, financial advice, generational, generational wealth, guys, humor, i, joblessness, recommend, recommendation, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Instagram this month:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

58 shares on Threads this month:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

52 shares on X this month:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

16 shares on YouTube this month:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Live now on Instagram:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Spotted on Messenger:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Making waves on Reddit:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Making waves on WeChat:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨