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Haha, talk about channeling your inner diplomat! 🐶💬 Next thing you know, you'll be asking it about its day and negotiating a peace treaty over a pup bowl. 🍖✌️ Who knew the secret to doggy diplomacy was just a good ear and some empathy? 😂🐾

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

1 month ago
back, cat, conversation, date, flirt, fun, meow, place, playful
I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

2 months ago
birthday, cake, celebration, eat, excuse, food, fun, humor, i, indulgence
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

2 months ago
attention, care, couple, debt, humor, missing, money, nobody, payments, responsibility, sarcasm, think
Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

1 month ago
beach, beautiful, forever, frustration, here, humor, just, lay, nature, sand, sh, stupid, try
Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

1 month ago
body, body image, chin, cowgirl, double, double chin, funny situation, humor, image, joke, physical, physical humor, playful, reverse, sexual, sexual humor, situation
Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

3 months ago
commercial, commercials, complaint, even, humor, maybe, paid, paying, payment, service, services, stop, streaming, streaming service, subscription, us, volume, watch

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Breaking via Instagram:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Making waves on Messenger:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Just landed via Facebook:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Making waves on Instagram:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

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If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

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If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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