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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Dec 30, 2025

3,968

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Going bananas on Twitch:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Going viral on X:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Going viral on Instagram:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

2 months ago

0

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍹 "Forget a regular mimosa, why stop there? Go all out and mix up a Jason Mimosa! Just a splash of orange juice and boom, you've got yourself the ultimate thirst-quenching and attractive beverage. Who needs regular OJ when you can have a slice of Momoa in your glass?" 😉

drink, humor, Jason, juice, Mimosa, Momoa, orange, orange juice, pun, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

0

2 months ago

being, censorship, communication, free, free speech, humor, intelligence, intelligent, live, offended, offense, people, society, speech, stupid, stupidity, time, where
My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

0

2 months ago

cutting, cutting off, health, healthy, humor, next, people, revenge, said, therapist, therapy
So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

0

2 months ago

air, care, ceiling, ceiling fan, fan, hands, hazard, humor, irony, just, song, songs, tell, throw
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

0

2 months ago

chore, cooking, dishes, eating, food, humor, kitchen, making, meal, struggle, time
Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, eat, fear, grok, humor, imagination, just, me, monsters, something, sounds, try
Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

0

2 months ago

good, good night, happiness, having, just, night, nights, relaxation, rest, sleep, sometimes, well-being

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on TikTok this month:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

30 shares on Slack this month:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

59 shares on X this month:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

45 shares on Slack this month:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

84 shares on X this month:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

59 shares on X this month:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,884

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Trending via X:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Going viral on YouTube:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Just shared via Facebook:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Just shared via Instagram:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

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