Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Making waves on Facebook:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Making waves on Discord:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Just shared via Instagram:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Making waves on Messenger:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Breaking via Threads:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

0
If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Explaining our "booster seats" to a teenager makes me feel like an ancient artifact 🧓📞😂

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WeChat this month:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

57 shares on Discord this month:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,500

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Going viral on Instagram:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Trending via Discord:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Just shared via YouTube:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Just landed via WeChat:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Going viral on Facebook:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Just landed via Twitch:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Live now on TikTok:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴