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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Live now on Reddit:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Going viral on TikTok:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Going bananas on X:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Freshly posted on X:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Going viral on Facebook:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Live now on Threads:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

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I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.
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Commentary:
Ah, the classic perfect spot—home sweet fortress of solitude! 🏡🙅‍♀️ Nothing beats the joy of dodging social interactions like a ninja of alone-time. Stay cozy, my friend—your personal bubble is the best vacation! 😄🎈

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on TikTok this month:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

88 shares on Slack this month:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,379

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Seen just now on X:

My recliner and I go way back.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Spotted on Messenger:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Seen just now on Twitch:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Breaking via WeChat:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Live now on Reddit:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

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