Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

428 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,697

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,697

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Spotted on X:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Going viral on Reddit:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Just landed via Facebook:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Breaking via YouTube:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Trending via Reddit:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

1 day ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Suffering is out, selective relaxation is in! 😎🛋️✨

attitude, humor, i, just, lazy, motivation, procrastination, selective, suffer, suffering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

2 months ago

best, criticism, crying, easily, employment, handle, humor, irony, job, laughter, sensitivity, someone
I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

2 months ago

annoyance, being, dude, gym, hate, humor, i, nap, sleep, treadmill, used, waking, workout
Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

3 months ago

able, clothing, fall, fashion, frustration, got, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, i, long-sleeve, long-sleeve shirt, mismatch, new, sad, seasonal, seasonal frustration, shirt, sorry, temperature, wear, weather, weather mismatch
I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

5 months ago

coffee, drink, humor, hydration, i, iced, iced coffee, love, myself, self-care, wellness
It’s Monday, but at what cost?

2 months ago

cost, existential, humor, Monday, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, workweek
Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

2 months ago

absurdity, asking, Christmas, holiday, humor, joke, nudes, request, Santa

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

74 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

65 shares on Slack this month:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Just shared via Slack:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Just shared via Messenger:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Trending via Snapchat:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨