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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,917

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Going viral on X:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Going viral on Reddit:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Glad I'm not getting charged rent for living in my own head… yet! 😂💸💭

cost, costs, daily, daily expense, day, exist, existence, expense, feels, financial, financial struggle, humor, inflation, just, money, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope this email kills us both.

1 month ago
both, communication, email, frustration, hope, humor, i, sarcasm, stress, us, work
Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

1 month ago
ahead, beans, brewing, cafe, caffeine, calling, coffee, daystarter, humor, joke, morning, routine
I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

2 months ago
always, communication, honesty, humor, i, intention, loud, mean, out loud, say
I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

1 month ago
activity, adulthood, count, errand, going, going out, humor, life, life stage, place, stage
Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

1 month ago
chores, clean, cook, daily, daily task, decision, decision making, grocery, humor, humor quote, i, laziness, making, okay, procrastination, reading, shopping, task
I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

1 month ago
back, diet, fitness, follow, humor, irony, loss, media, social, social media, unfollow, weight, weight loss

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Breaking via X:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Making waves on WeChat:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Just landed via YouTube:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Going viral on WeChat:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Making waves on X:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

I hope this email kills us both.

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Some people are like ads, just skip.

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

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It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hope this email kills us both.

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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