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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Trending via Instagram:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Going viral on Telegram:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Breaking via Facebook:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Trending via TikTok:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

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It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.
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Commentary:
The moment you realize your clothes decided to start a midnight pool party without you 🕺🧺🌊😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

13 shares on X this month:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

58 shares on Slack this month:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

43 shares on Facebook this month:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

99 shares on Twitch this month:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been an unread email.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Spotted on YouTube:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Going bananas on Threads:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Making waves on Twitch:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

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