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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Going viral on WeChat:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Trending via Discord:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Breaking via Slack:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Live now on Reddit:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Trending via Snapchat:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Making waves on Facebook:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

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It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.
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Commentary:
The moment you realize your clothes decided to start a midnight pool party without you 🕺🧺🌊😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Threads this month:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

79 shares on Threads this month:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

45 shares on X this month:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Trending via Snapchat:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Making waves on Telegram:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Making waves on Discord:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

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