Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Live now on Telegram:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Trending via Pinterest:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Trending via Discord:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time to upgrade my anxiety wardrobe with some festive flair! 🎄😅✨

almost, anxiety, Christmas, everyday, fancy, holiday, humor, seasonal, seasonal anxiety, stress, switch, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

5 days ago

attitude, beef, before, conflict, core, humor, just, know, malicious, me, once, personality, upset, warning
I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

2 months ago

back, communication, expectation, humor, i, idea, interaction, me, message, people, social, social interaction, weird
The only men you can trust is ramen.

3 months ago

food, humor, men, ramen, relationship, trust
Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

2 months ago

confinement, distance, earphone, earphones, entertainment, feels, frustration, jail, journey, long distance, long journey, noise, serving, silence, term, travel, travel frustration
Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

2 months ago

call, customer, customer service, days, humor, important, irritation, music, sarcasm, service, six, us, waiting
I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

2 months ago

die, evolve, humor, i, life, motivation, prime

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

97 shares on Slack this month:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

10 shares on Threads this month:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Going viral on X:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Alexa, mute my children.

Going viral on Messenger:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Live now on Discord:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Going bananas on YouTube:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Trending via Threads:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Trending via Messenger:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Shared recently on X:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨