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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Trending via Threads:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Spotted on Twitch:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Going viral on YouTube:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Just shared via TikTok:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

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It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Talk about a match made in Tinder-heaven! 😂❤️👀

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Reddit this month:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

67 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

10 shares on X this month:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

18 shares on Threads this month:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Trending via X:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Live now on Discord:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Freshly posted on Discord:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Live now on TikTok:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Broadcasted on Discord:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

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