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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1772 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,934

Funny Quotes Topics

14,747

Funny Quotes Images

11,934

3 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Spotted on Discord:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Spotted on Pinterest:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Breaking via X:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Going viral on WeChat:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Making waves on WeChat:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Live now on X:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

6 months ago

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

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Commentary:
Oh, January! One minute you're all about new beginnings and resolutions, and the next you're like, "Just kidding, let's freeze everything into a wintry oblivion!" 🤪❄️ Embracing the rollercoaster ride of emotions that is January – buckle up and enjoy the unpredictable show! 🎢 #JanuaryMoodSwings

episode, humor, January, mood, schizophrenic, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1772 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,934

Funny Quotes Topics

14,747

Funny Quotes Images

11,934

3 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Going viral on YouTube:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Just shared via Facebook:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Trending via Pinterest:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Breaking via Messenger:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Trending via TikTok:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Reported on Slack:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Just shared via TikTok:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

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