Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Going viral on WeChat:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Spotted on WeChat:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Just landed via X:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Just landed via Threads:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Live now on Pinterest:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Seen just now on X:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Just landed via Reddit:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

0
Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Listen up, folks! 💡 Why make all the mistakes in the world when you can simply borrow others'? It's like fast-tracking your way to wisdom without the extra bruises and embarrassing moments! 🚀🤭 Keep your ego in check and observe – it's the shortcut to a smooth ride through life! 🌟🚗"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

40 shares on X this month:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I disagree with my politics.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Just landed via X:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Just shared via Messenger:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Just landed via Telegram:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴