Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,540

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Just landed via YouTube:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Going viral on TikTok:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Just shared via YouTube:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Making waves on YouTube:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Spotted on WeChat:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Shared recently on X:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"🔥 Sleep tight in your toasty bridge bonfire! 😴🚧🤣"

bridges, burn, hope, humor, keep, metaphor, night, revenge, sarcasm, warm, warmth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

0

2 months ago

apology, bad, batshit, batshit crazy, call, confidence, crazy, humor, me, perception, self-acceptance, sorry, sound, thing, think, uniqueness
Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

0

2 months ago

activity, alone, alone time, avoidance, concert, DaBaby, event, fun, fun activity, humor, i, introvert, music, music event, need, social, social avoidance, time
You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

0

2 months ago

call, communication, humor, i, irony, listen, nagging, relationship, time
Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

0

2 months ago

believe, compliment, confidence, flirting, honesty, humor, i, man, me, only, pretty, self-esteem, time, vanity
My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

0

2 months ago

body, fitness, humor, pending, procrastination, self-deprecation, summer, summer body, ten, ten years, year’s
Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

0

2 months ago

age, always, bit, growth, humor, individuality, me, older, people, personality, self-awareness, strange

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on YouTube this month:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

24 shares on X this month:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Making waves on Twitch:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Just landed via Instagram:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨