Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Live now on Instagram:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Just shared via TikTok:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Going viral on Facebook:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Life update: it’s getting worse.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to adult: crashed the economy, lost my socks, and apparently broke the universe too. 🤷‍♂️🧦💥

getting, humor, life, pessimism, sarcasm, update, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

0

2 months ago

cooking, cooking fail, cooking mishap, fail, funny moment, glasses, humiliation, i, just, kitchen, mishap, moment, sight, steam
How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

0

2 months ago

before, chocolate, diet, food, humor, indulgence, much, question, salad, too
Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

0

2 months ago

bed, comfort, Friday, Friday night, hard, humor, i, laying, laziness, mean, night, party, partying, relaxation, self-care, starfish
Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

0

2 months ago

balance, decision, focus, girlfriend, humor, job, love, quitting, relationship, thinking, work life, work-life balance
After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

0

4 months ago

actually, after, chore, cross, daily, daily life, dish, dishes, experience, household, household task, humor, i, life, list, lot, never, task, to-do, to-do list, washing, washing dish
We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

0

5 months ago

celebration, end, every, fashion, holiday, humor, need, summer, sundress, woman, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Slack this month:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

83 shares on Discord this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Just landed via Instagram:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Breaking via Discord:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Going viral on Reddit:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Going viral on Reddit:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨