Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

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If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.