Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Seen just now on YouTube:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Just landed via Instagram:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Going viral on YouTube:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Making waves on X:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Coffee: the magical potion that turns 'I got this' into 'oh wait, no I don't!' ☕😂 #CaffeineIllusions"

coffee, feel, feeling, got, humor, humor quote, i, me, morning, motivation, routine, self-awareness, shit, together

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

0

2 months ago

again, desire, first time, humor, i, irony, meet, past, people, time, walk
Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

0

2 months ago

die, funeral, humor, man, norms, proposal, real, real man, social, social norms, someone, wedding
I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

0

3 months ago

boredom, entertainment, feeling, feeling lost, finish, free, free time, frustration, hate, i, know, life, lost, show, time, watching
Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

0

2 months ago

encouragement, humor, listen, little, password, security, strong, technology
No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

0

4 weeks ago

excuse, humor, i, next, once, schedule, shadow, sorry, tiredness, week, work
I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

0

2 months ago

dumb, dumb nonsense, dumbest, else, ever, fall, groupthink, humor, i, individuality, irony, never, nonsense, opinion, opinions, perfectly, unique, unique opinion, victim

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

95 shares on X this month:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Going viral on Slack:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Just shared via YouTube:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨