Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I have a yearning disability.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Going viral on Threads:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Just shared via Discord:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Spotted on Twitch:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Just landed via Telegram:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Shared recently on Twitch:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Embracing the magic of starfishing into sleep without elbow warfare! 🛏️✨🕺🌟

bed, having, healing, healing power, never, power, relaxation, sleep, solitude, underestimate, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

0

2 months ago

banana, banana bread, bread, drama, end, fight, fun, humor, internet, media, online, online drama, post, social, social media, unexpected
Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

0

5 months ago

bot, bots, communication, conversation, fine, humor, just, listen, listening, plant, plants, talk, why
Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

0

2 months ago

advice, cheese, food, Germany, humor, käse, people, pun, sausage, scenario, stock, wurst, Wurst Käse
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

0

2 months ago

accident, crime, date, humor, joke, me, playful, relationship, romance, trust, well
It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

0

2 months ago

back, crawl, dating, habit, hard, inconvenience, peace, peaceful, relationship, retreat, single, someone, stress, stress-free, time
Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

0

2 months ago

ago, apology, call, communication, concern, delay, everything, humor, i, missed, missed call, months, okay, sorry, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

57 shares on X this month:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Trending via YouTube:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Broadcasted on X:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Making waves on Twitch:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Spotted on Threads:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨