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Commentary:
Guess I'll be keeping my natural forehead wrinkles—how else will I express my disbelief at life's endless supply of ridiculousness? 🤨😂

aging, Botox, brow, dumb, dumb thing, expression, facial, facial expression, furrowed, furrowed brow, humor, i, need, people, sarcasm, say, skincare, thing, things, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

0

2 months ago

activity, choice, fattening, fun, fun activity, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, illegal, immoral, indulgence, lifestyle, personal, personal choice, pleasure, things
I wish anxiety came with french fries.

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2 months ago

anxiety, came, comfort, comfort food, craving, food, french, french fry, fry, humor, i, irony, wish
Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

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2 months ago

concert, distractions, earphones, humor, man, me, music, personal, personal space, space, talk
My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

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3 months ago

2007, age, born, email, emails, humor, i, intern, millennial, office, older, technology, unread, unread email, year
I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

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6 months ago

cheating, chili, concert, day, emotional, emotional pain, ever, feel, found, heartbreak, hot, i, me, music, pain, pepper, red, Red Hot Chili Pepper, relationship, wife
Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

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3 months ago

asking, compatibility, date, dating, dinosaur, favorite, first date, humor, question

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

78 shares on X this month:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

55 shares on Threads this month:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Making waves on Messenger:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Live now on Snapchat:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Just landed via Facebook:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Seen just now on X:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Just landed via Telegram:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Just shared via Telegram:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Spotted on Slack:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨