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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, youโ€™d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, โ€œit shouldโ€™ve been youโ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

This tape doesnโ€™t even taste like scotch.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Hereโ€™s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hey, weโ€™re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sorry Iโ€™m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Just landed via Slack:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Just shared via Discord:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

No one flirts better than a guy whoโ€™s not interested in you.

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No one flirts better than a guy whoโ€™s not interested in you.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Sounds about right! Guess Cupid needs a GPS these days ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ“

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Social Media Stars โญ

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with โ€œJesus Christโ€.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

88 shares on Threads this month:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

42 shares on X this month:

Anytime a guy says โ€œthatโ€™s what she saidโ€ always reply with โ€œyeah, but not to youโ€.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now Iโ€™m stressed about missing sessions.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

My daughterโ€™s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Therapy? I have Spotify.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I donโ€™t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, โ€œOh, thatโ€™s where that comes from,โ€ every other page.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via X:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if Iโ€™m bad with money or if they are.

Just shared via Telegram:

Itโ€™s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Freshly posted on X:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Going viral on TikTok:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Just shared via Slack:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Trending via Snapchat:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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