Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Just shared via X:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Going viral on Reddit:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Making waves on TikTok:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time called. It wants its deadlines back! ⏰😅

advice, humor, life, life advice, motivation, nothing, procrastination, timeline, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, aging, bad, convince, eyesight, font, font size, going, humor, just, means, self-deception, size, small, too, trying, yourself
“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

0

2 months ago

change, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm
The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

0

3 months ago

backstory, horror, live, mood, October, seaside, seaside town, seasonal, seasonal mood, sleepy, sleepy town, small, small town, spooky, spooky vibe, town, urge, vibe
I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

0

2 months ago

conversation, dance, doing, end, end conversation, humor, i, interaction, just, Macarena, social, social interaction, start, want
No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

0

2 months ago

appointment, before, dental, flossing, health, humor, motivation, routine, self-care, start, time, timing
Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

0

2 months ago

contempt, court, held, holding, honor, humor, i, judge, lawyer, mean, relationship, wanted, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

80 shares on Threads this month:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

99 shares on Discord this month:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Just landed via Facebook:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Freshly posted on X:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Going bananas on Slack:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Trending via Facebook:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨