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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Making waves on Discord:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Making waves on TikTok:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

3 months ago

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"When you find out your face has settings other than 'Resting Confusion' 😂🤔👍 #UpgradeUnlocked"

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

46 shares on Threads this month:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

37 shares on Slack this month:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Making waves on YouTube:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Spotted on Messenger:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Seen just now on Discord:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

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Activity Log ✨

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Keep the laugh going 😂

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨