Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Just shared via Twitch:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Spotted on WeChat:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Just landed via X:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Breaking via Twitch:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Spotted on TikTok:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you find out your face has settings other than 'Resting Confusion' 😂🤔👍 #UpgradeUnlocked"

change, doing, expression, facial, facial change, facial expression, humor, i, joke, just, lighthearted, realization, self-awareness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

0

2 months ago

bags, beauty, eyes, fashion, humor, i, self-deprecation, style, under, Versace
I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

0

2 months ago

buddy, i, insomnia, sleep, tonight, wanted
Think that’s enough todaying for today.

0

3 weeks ago

casual, casual conversation, conversation, enough, humor, procrastination, think, today, todaying, wordplay
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

0

2 months ago

arm, body, count, finger, gratitude, humor, leg, side, support, thank
The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

0

4 months ago

burnout, energy, even, exhaustion, fatigue, levels, reaching, stress, tiredness
That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

0

4 weeks ago

avoid, avoidance, dating, growth, humor, life, masculine, masculine urge, personal, personal growth, relationship, relationships, together, urge

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Slack this month:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Spotted on Messenger:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Shared recently on Discord:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Making waves on Reddit:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Just shared via YouTube:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨