Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Trending via Twitch:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Just shared via Messenger:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Making waves on Telegram:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

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On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.
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Commentary:
Another day, another HR meeting. At least I've got points for creativity! 😂💼

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

49 shares on Threads this month:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

47 shares on YouTube this month:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

46 shares on X this month:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

14 shares on Discord this month:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

55 shares on X this month:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Just shared via Reddit:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Seen just now on Messenger:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Breaking via Slack:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Spotted on YouTube:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Just landed via Telegram:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

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