Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Going viral on Pinterest:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Just shared via Slack:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Just landed via Reddit:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Spotted on Discord:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Spotted on Slack:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Another day, another HR meeting. At least I've got points for creativity! 😂💼

again, coworker, credit, hr, humor, joke, Mastercard, nickname, office, office humor, sarcasm, take, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

0

2 months ago

answering, email, emails, fake, forest, frustration, jaw, mental, mental state, mentally, physically, screaming, smile, state, stress, work
Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

0

2 months ago

considerate, even, evil, humor, most, personality, sarcasm
Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, comparison, dog, hot, hot dog, humor, movy, night, relatable, sleep, tossing, turning, women
“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

0

2 months ago

actually, comedy, daily, daily grind, fresh, frustration, grind, hell, humor, irony, repetition, same, sarcasm, yesterday
Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

0

6 months ago

comfort, humor, invitation, invite, me, nowhere, party, seating, sit
May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

0

2 months ago

affection, cat, curl, curl up, humor, i, lap, over, please, request

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

60 shares on Threads this month:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

72 shares on Instagram this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Spotted on Slack:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Making waves on Instagram:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Breaking via X:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Trending via Discord:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨