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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Seen just now on Threads:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Breaking via Discord:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Seen just now on Threads:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Making waves on YouTube:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the "idea guys" meet the "reality check" emoji committee 😂💡➡️🤔

actually, coding, coding era, culture, era, expectation, good, guy, guys, humor, i, idea, idea guy, ideas, learn, most, tech, tech culture, thing, vibe, vibe coding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

2 months ago

around, digging, everything, grave, here, humor, i, own, responsibility, sarcasm, self-deprecation
I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

3 months ago

appearance, confidence, growth, humor, i, personal, personal growth, self-deprecation, ugly, used
“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

2 months ago

cheese, craving, depressed, depression, enough, food, humor, hunger, world
I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

2 months ago

grow, growth, humor, i, need, needs, perspective, resilience, skin, thick, thick skin, thorns, world
He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

2 months ago

cockroach, compliment, everything, humor, i, key, low, low key, me, resilience, sarcasm, second, self-reflection, thought
Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

2 months ago

afternoon, belief, believe, choice, choose, humor, irony, nap, naps, relaxation, sleep, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

35 shares on X this month:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

47 shares on Slack this month:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

56 shares on X this month:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Trending via TikTok:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Going viral on Reddit:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Making waves on Reddit:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Seen just now on X:

My recliner and I go way back.

Spotted on Facebook:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Just shared via Reddit:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨