Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Just shared via TikTok:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Trending via TikTok:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Going viral on Telegram:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Spotted on X:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Spotted on Messenger:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Just landed via WeChat:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Trending via X:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

0
Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
I was hoping to ask them about their departure, exit satisfaction, and if they'd like more cat memes in the future! 😹📉

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

86 shares on X this month:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

80 shares on Instagram this month:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

45 shares on Threads this month:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Half princess, half menace.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,235

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Trending via TikTok:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Shared recently on Telegram:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Making waves on Facebook:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴