Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Just shared via Slack:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Going viral on Messenger:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Just landed via Slack:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Just landed via Reddit:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Going viral on Messenger:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a vacation plan for our thumbs! 🌴📱🚫😅

break, crash, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, internet, internet outage, media, needs, outage, recalibrate, satire, social, social media, social media break, society, technology, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

0

2 months ago

center, humor, life, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-centered
Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

0

4 months ago

amusement, chaos, circus, fondness, grown, humor, monkey
Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

0

2 months ago

affection, compliment, forehead, forehead kiss, humor, kiss, liking, little, media, post, posts, social, social media
Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

0

2 months ago

challenge, city, every, funny question, humor, life, name, NYC, oh, question, rat, urban, urban life
Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, around, back, behind, dad, disgust, everything, fun, hands, hands behind back, looking, mild, much, right, walking
We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adults, expectations, hibernation, humor, irony, life, relaxation, responsibility, right, stress

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

50 shares on Threads this month:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

48 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

17 shares on Discord this month:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Breaking via Slack:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨