Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Vacations are like determining the perfect amount of hot sauce to add to your meal – some people prefer it mild while others go all in with extra spicy! 🏖️💰😂"

bad, comparison, finance, humor, i, lifestyle, money, people, questioning, sometimes, spending, take, vacation, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

1 week ago

ads, death, free, humor, irony, sleep, trial
Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

4 days ago

explaining, humor, judge, judgment, just, me, much, myself, please, sarcasm, too, work
When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

7 days ago

activity, bad, bad handwriting, fun, fun activity, handwriting, humor, just, later, little, notes, problem, problem-solving, riddles, self-deprecating, solve, solving, yourself
Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

1 week ago

animals, bird, early, guy, hell, humor, joke, just, observation, sarcasm, saw
If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

3 weeks ago

anyone, choice, conversation, dead, dinner, event, humor, i, ID, joke, living, pick, social, social event
Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

3 weeks ago

blood, generosity, give, horoscope, humor, idea, prediction, week

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on TikTok this month:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

83 shares on X this month:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

67 shares on X this month:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Less talkie. More kissie.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Just landed via Snapchat:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Seen just now on Slack:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Spotted on Discord:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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