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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Shared recently on Slack:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Just landed via Slack:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Spotted on Telegram:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Silent mode activated 🤫😂 Just call me a professional mime now! 🎭

anyone, anything, better, communication, feelings, feels, interaction, introversion, mood, quiet, silence, social, social interaction, solitude, sometimes, talk, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

0

2 months ago

dissatisfaction, fun, happy, humor, i, intimacy, relationship, sex, understand
I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

0

2 months ago

birth, birthday, celebrate, hope, humor, i, naked, party, screaming
Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

0

2 months ago

clothes, clothes rack, everyday, everyday life, home, humor, life, obstacle, rack, where
Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

0

2 months ago

browser, browser history, calculator, calculator history, delete, Earth, embarrassing, forget, history, i, pass
Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

0

2 months ago

before, change, commentary, humor, idiot, internet, only, people, perspective, social, social commentary, technology, thought, town, wrong
My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

0

2 months ago

body, experience, experiences, humor, likes, machine, media, social, social media, traumatic, traumatic experience, x

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Discord this month:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

26 shares on Slack this month:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

54 shares on Threads this month:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

39 shares on Discord this month:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Just landed via TikTok:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Live now on WeChat:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨