Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Making waves on YouTube:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Making waves on Messenger:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Spotted on Slack:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Going viral on Messenger:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Humorous text about honesty and complaints with a playful, witty vibe.
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Commentary:
Well, someone's pants are definitely on fire! 🔥 Looks like the complaint department is open for business after all! 😄#CaughtInTheAct 🤥

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Spotted on X:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Going viral on YouTube:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

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