Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.
  • It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.
  • Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.
  • Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.
  • Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.
  • Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.