Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Live now on WeChat:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Spotted on Instagram:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Broadcasted on Slack:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Shared recently on X:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Going viral on Threads:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Trending via Pinterest:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Just landed via Discord:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When life gives you fake cakes, upgrade to a bundt with real company! 😂🍰🙌"

cake, eat, eating, food, food humor, humor, language, playful, playful language, puns, stop, sweet, sweet treat, treat, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

0

2 months ago

am, birthright, communication, culture, digital, digital culture, generation, gif, humor, i, millennial, replying, stop
The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

0

2 months ago

birth, birth preparation, breathing, breathing exercise, child, course, exercise, humor, once, parenting, preparation, puberty
It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

0

2 months ago

again, back, frustration, headache, here, i, illegal, nap, should, shut, shut off, sleep, still, take, wake, wake up
Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

0

2 months ago

auto-correct, autocorrect, autocorrect mistake, humor, i, keyboard, mistake, relationship, technology, texting, toxic, toxic relationship
Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

0

2 months ago

health, hospital, humor, just, media, mental, mental health, mental hospital, online, online platform, platform, satire, social, social media, Twitter, virtual
Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

0

2 months ago

closing, date, entertainment, home, house, humor, internet, movie, movie date, night, pirated, pirated site, pop-up, site, sites, spend, streaming, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Threads this month:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

49 shares on X this month:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

22 shares on Threads this month:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

19 shares on X this month:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

42 shares on Slack this month:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Making waves on TikTok:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Live now on Reddit:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Trending via Slack:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨