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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,540

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Trending via Snapchat:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Trending via X:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Going viral on X:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Making waves on X:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

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Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.
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Commentary:
Finally found the solution to my flexibility problems: becoming a human-sized Lego set! 🙆‍♂️🦵🔧

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Discord this month:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

100 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

40 shares on TikTok this month:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Later is the best time to do anything.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,671

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Spotted on Twitch:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Seen just now on Twitch:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Just landed via YouTube:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Making waves on Slack:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Just shared via TikTok:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

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