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"Move over, cheetahs! The real speed demons are the smartasses typing away online at lightning speed! 🏃💨💻 Who needs four legs when you have a keyboard and sarcasm on your side? 😂 #InternetSprinter"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

1 month ago
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And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

1 month ago
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“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

4 weeks ago
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Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

4 months ago
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Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

1 month ago
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I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

2 months ago
breakup, displeasure, frustration, humor, i, last, leave, love, me, media, people, sight, social, social media, time, unfollowing

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Just landed via Threads:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Just shared via Slack:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Breaking via YouTube:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

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Activity Log ✨

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

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The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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