The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Commentary:
“Move over, cheetahs! The real speed demons are the smartasses typing away online at lightning speed! 🏃💨💻 Who needs four legs when you have a keyboard and sarcasm on your side? 😂 #InternetSprinter”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

    Commentary:
    “Swipe left for the grandpa, swipe right for the jailbird 🧓🔒 Looks like the dating pool is more like a pond with those options! 🌊 Who said romance was dead? 💔😂”

  • Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

    Commentary:
    “Those tater tots better watch out, looks like trouble ahead! 🥔😄 Stay crispy, little tots!”

  • Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine a world where we could just give people a gentle tap on the head to determine their ripeness! 🍉😂 Who knew watermelons had it all figured out while we’re still dealing with personality tests?”

  • Happy new fear!

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic mix-up between ‘year’ and ‘fear’ 🤣. Let’s embrace the uncertainty of 2022 with open arms… and maybe a flashlight just in case! Here’s to a ‘spooktacular’ new year ahead! 🎉👻 #HappyNewFear”

  • You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic battle of the body parts! It’s like a royal rumble in there – knees vs. back, shoulders vs. hips… May the creakiest joint win! 👑🦵🏼💥 #AgingProbs”

  • Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

    Commentary:
    “What can I say, being boring takes a lot of effort! 🙃 It’s a full-time job trying to appear like you have your life together when really you’re just winging it like everyone else. 💁‍♂️ #BoringButBusy”