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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Happy new fear!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.

Trending via Discord:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Live now on Messenger:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Going viral on Instagram:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When the king of the jungle decides it's time for a career change. 🦁👔 #LionLifeCrisis"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Discord this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

55 shares on X this month:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Live now on TikTok:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Just landed via Pinterest:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Just landed via WeChat:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Going viral on Instagram:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Spotted on YouTube:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Just shared via Twitch:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

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