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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Spotted on Messenger:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Spotted on WeChat:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Making waves on Messenger:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Just landed via Slack:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

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The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, so that's what the AI is up to – evolving humans into creatures with extra fingers! 🤖🖐️ Looks like AI is really pushy about its preferences. Next thing you know, we'll all be playing the piano like pros. 🎹😄 #AIFingerObsession

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Slack this month:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

67 shares on X this month:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

71 shares on X this month:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

33 shares on Discord this month:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

93 shares on X this month:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Spotted on Twitch:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Making waves on Threads:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Going viral on Slack:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Making waves on YouTube:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Live now on Slack:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

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