Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Just landed via Reddit:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Seen just now on TikTok:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Laughing at how even trauma comes with free shipping and a lifetime subscription! 🙃🛒🧠

accessibility, care, free, free service, getting, health, humor, mental, mental health, psychology, self, self-care, service, should, therapy, trauma

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

0

2 months ago

agree, broke, employment, equality, generation, good, humor, i, job, jobs, love, misconception, people, previous, society, stereotypes, tattoo, work
I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, comparison, humor, self-deprecating, Temu, version, well-functioning
I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

0

2 months ago

ask, depot, funny moment, high, home, Home Depot, hose, humor, i, know, laugh, moment, right, shopping, where
I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

0

4 weeks ago

age, asleep, fall, fall asleep, frisky, humor, movie, movie theater, relationship, theater, where
I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

0

3 months ago

astronomy, distance, humor, long distance, long-distance relationship, love, relationship, star, stars
Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

0

2 months ago

bar, Binks, drinks, franchise, humor, opening, pub, pun, star, Star Wars, wars

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

80 shares on X this month:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Making waves on X:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Trending via Reddit:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Breaking via Slack:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Just landed via Twitch:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨