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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Just shared via X:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Just landed via Twitch:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Just landed via Telegram:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Making waves on Messenger:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Just shared via YouTube:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Trending via Reddit:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

15 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about the comfort of slipping into cozy, casual clothes like Adam Sandler's style.

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Commentary:
Proof that the ultimate form of self-care is channeling your inner Sandler slob chic 😂🩳👕

Adam, Adam Sandler, better, change, change clothes, changing, clothes, comfort, coming, feeling, fit, home, outfit, relaxation, sandler

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Discord this month:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

51 shares on X this month:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

14 shares on Discord this month:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Just shared via Twitch:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Just shared via Twitch:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Shared recently on Threads:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Keep the laugh going 😂

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨