Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I had too much to think last night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Just landed via Facebook:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Going viral on Twitch:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Live now on YouTube:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Breaking via YouTube:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Making waves on Instagram:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Trending via Facebook:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Proof that the ultimate form of self-care is channeling your inner Sandler slob chic 😂🩳👕

Adam, Adam Sandler, better, change, change clothes, changing, clothes, comfort, coming, feeling, fit, home, outfit, relaxation, sandler

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

2 months ago

animals, awkward, bison, distance, friend, friends, friendship, humor, keep, nature, want, wildlife
Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

2 months ago

activity, cake, celebration, fun, fun activity, going, humor, important, important things, life, me, things, wedding
Be the reason someone burns sage.

2 months ago

good, good vibes, humor, mindfulness, positivity, reason, sage, self-care, someone, vibes
Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

3 months ago

body, humor, hurt, internal, irony, me, organ, organs, pain, something, sure, tell, trying
Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

2 months ago

back, crisis, existential, existential crisis, factory, factory settings, humor, late, life, reset, settings
If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

2 months ago

allowed, am, choice, freedom, ham, humor, i, life, life choice, self-acceptance, spiral

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

28 shares on Threads this month:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

92 shares on X this month:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

91 shares on Slack this month:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Just landed via Reddit:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Live now on Facebook:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨