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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Women love asking you questions about the movie you both are watching.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Just landed via Facebook:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Just shared via Reddit:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Spotted on Facebook:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Trending via Twitch:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Just shared via Instagram:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

2 months ago

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Napping: the only sport where everyone's goal is to go "unconscious," but sometimes your brain throws the game! 💤😴🤔

attempt, dislike, failed, failure, frustration, hate, humor, i, nap, nothing, relaxation, sleep

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

24 shares on Twitch this month:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

51 shares on Discord this month:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

74 shares on Discord this month:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Spotted on Telegram:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Making waves on Reddit:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨