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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Spotted on WeChat:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Trending via Threads:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Making waves on Instagram:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Live now on Facebook:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Freshly posted on X:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Making waves on YouTube:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

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Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.
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Commentary:
Oh, the classic battle against time – always winning as it leaves its marks on our faces! ⏳👴🏻 Who needs a clock when your forehead shows the passing hours? Embrace the wrinkles, they are just a reminder that laughter and frowns both contribute to life's story! Just remember to smile, it's nature's Botox! 😄 #TimelessAndWrinkled

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

90 shares on X this month:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

25 shares on X this month:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Trending via Telegram:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Going viral on Messenger:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Just landed via Instagram:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Just shared via Instagram:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Making waves on Threads:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Spotted on Slack:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

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