Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

762 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,924

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,924

57 seconds ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Live now on Twitch:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Spotted on X:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Trending via Reddit:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Just shared via Discord:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Making waves on Threads:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

5 months ago

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic battle against time – always winning as it leaves its marks on our faces! ⏳👴🏻 Who needs a clock when your forehead shows the passing hours? Embrace the wrinkles, they are just a reminder that laughter and frowns both contribute to life's story! Just remember to smile, it's nature's Botox! 😄 #TimelessAndWrinkled

aging, face, forehead, humor, side, time, wrinkle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

762 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,924

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,924

57 seconds ago

3,416

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Going viral on YouTube:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Reported on Discord:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Trending via X:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Just shared via Slack:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Spotted on Discord:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Reported on Reddit:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Freshly posted on Discord:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

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