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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Making waves on TikTok:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Just shared via Facebook:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Making waves on Slack:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

Live now on Facebook:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Spotted on Messenger:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

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Commentary:
When you realize that today is a "hug them with your words, not your hands" kind of day 😂🤦‍♀️ #KeepCalm 👐😇

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on X this month:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

21 shares on Reddit this month:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

If I can’t wash dishes to your album, it ain’t that fire.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

65 shares on X this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Making waves on Twitch:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Spotted on Instagram:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Live now on X:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

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