Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,790

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Going viral on Discord:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Breaking via Threads:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Live now on Threads:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Making waves on YouTube:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize that today is a "hug them with your words, not your hands" kind of day 😂🤦‍♀️ #KeepCalm 👐😇

allowed, anger, day, days, difficult, difficult day, frustration, humor, i, myself, patience, people, remind, reminder, self-control, today, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

0

2 months ago

comfort, home, humor, i, only, preference, rain, weather
I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, career, day, garbage, garbage man, humor, i, job, man, only, want, week, work
Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

0

2 months ago

buying, disease, else, everyone, fashion, favorite, humor, interest, making, me, multiple, nostalgia, personal, personal interest, priorities, sh, shopping, spread, time, time travel, travel, wars
I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

0

2 months ago

comedy, experience, experiences, fat, food, full, humor, humor about food, mexican, Mexican restaurant, most, place, restaurant, restaurants, self-deprecating, weight
Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

0

2 months ago

anatomy, fingers, humor, joke, language, language joke, playful, puns, t, tiptoe, wordplay
You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

0

2 months ago

control, culture, driving, experience, humor, keep, Midwest, nothing, skills, snow, spin, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Twitch this month:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

73 shares on Slack this month:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Going bananas on Messenger:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Trending via Instagram:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Going bananas on Twitch:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Making waves on Slack:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Spotted on YouTube:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨