Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.
  • I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.
  • If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”
  • The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.
  • All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.
  • Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.