We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

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My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

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Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

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If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

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Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

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Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

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I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

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Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.