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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Just shared via Messenger:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Just shared via Slack:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Going viral on Telegram:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Just shared via Messenger:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you think you're sliding into third base, but it turns out you're just passing out on the couch! 😂😴 #SleepIsTheRealMVP"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on X this month:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

65 shares on Threads this month:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

83 shares on X this month:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

51 shares on Discord this month:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Spotted on Reddit:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Trending via Threads:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Going viral on WeChat:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Just shared via TikTok:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

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