Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,249

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Trending via Messenger:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Spotted on Instagram:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Spotted on Twitch:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you think you're sliding into third base, but it turns out you're just passing out on the couch! 😂😴 #SleepIsTheRealMVP"

bedtime, double, double entendre, entendre, humor, i, joke, know, language, language joke, linguistics, need, sleep, talking, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

2 months ago

comedy, funny observation, humor, inner, inner monologue, laugh, laugh track, monologue, observation, self-reflection, thoughts, track
I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

2 months ago

coming, daily, daily life, getting, going, home, humor, life, procrastination, ready, routine, sleep, thinking, wanting, work
Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

3 months ago

circumstance, circumstances, control, excuse, humor, i, irony, late, procrastination, well
It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

2 months ago

actual, after, always, appetite, before, dinner, food, humor, hunger, hungry, kids, mealtime, never, right
Last night’s dream could have been an email.

5 months ago

communication, dream, email, humor, last, night, nights, sleep, technology
They should invent a rest for the wicked.

2 months ago

humor, invention, irony, relaxation, rest, should, wicked

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Reddit this month:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

95 shares on WeChat this month:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

91 shares on X this month:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Making waves on Reddit:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Spotted on X:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Just shared via Discord:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Breaking via Threads:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Making waves on Instagram:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Just landed via Messenger:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Breaking via X:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨