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Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

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Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Freshly posted on X:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Spotted on TikTok:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Going viral on Slack:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Going viral on Threads:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Making waves on X:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Going viral on TikTok:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Going viral on WeChat:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Funny text about Monday skepticism, humorous and playful, expressing disbelief at the day.

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Commentary:
Mondays are like leftovers—somehow, there's always more than you expect! 😂🤦‍♂️

confusion, day, disbelief, frustration, humor, just, mean, Monday, right, time, week

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83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

92 shares on X this month:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

68 shares on Discord this month:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

23 shares on X this month:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Going viral on Slack:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Seen just now on Discord:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Going bananas on X:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Just landed via Instagram:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Spotted on Discord:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

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Activity Log ✨

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

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