What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.