Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Trending via YouTube:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Breaking via Discord:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Just landed via WeChat:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Breaking via Twitch:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Just shared via Instagram:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Spotted on Twitch:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like you found the secret to waking up perky every day! 😂🌞✨

always, biology, curiosity, equivalent, humor, i, morning, morning wood, question, why, women, wood

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

0

2 months ago

assume, bookmark, building, case, humor, humorist, i, me, media, people, posts, social, social media, suspicion
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

0

2 months ago

activity, company, entertainment, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, isolation, lights, lonely, movie, put, solitude
AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

0

2 months ago

abuse, Airbnb, experience, filled, financial, financial abuse, fun, humor, lodging, rules, stranger, travel, want
Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

0

2 months ago

communication, day, expression, getting, humor, i, know, lawn, lawn sign, opinion, people, sign, think, today
About to form my very first opinion.

0

2 months ago

form, forming, funny moment, humor, moment, opinion, self-discovery
My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

0

2 months ago

boss, day, finished, humor, i, job, just, left, means, office, productivity, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Shared recently on Slack:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Just shared via Slack:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Trending via Snapchat:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Making waves on Instagram:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Seen just now on X:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Shared recently on Discord:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

About to form my very first opinion.

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨