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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Going viral on Reddit:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Going viral on Threads:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Breaking via TikTok:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Just shared via X:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor probably thought he was delivering a roundhouse kick instead of a baby! 💥👶 #ChuckNorrisFacts

birth, born, chuck, Chuck Norris, doctor, humor, joke, norris, slap, toughness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

0

4 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, being, clock, feels, flirt, hostage, hostage situation, humor, situation, while, work
Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, app, app update, change, changes, digital, digital annoyance, everyday, everyday life, format, format change, frustration, getting, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, mad, me, new, rearranged, store, technology, update, updates, user, user frustration
Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

0

2 months ago

choices, cool, dating, Halloween, humor, men, nothing, relationships, spooky
Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

0

2 months ago

family, followers, humor, joke, kids, last, media, name, parent, parenting, should, social, social media
My bad habits got renewed for another season.

0

2 months ago

another, bad, bad habit, comedy, habit, habits, humor, renewal, season, self-improvement
Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

0

5 months ago

advice, again, avoidance, ever, health, humor, just, mental, mental health, procrastination, thinking, tried

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Twitch this month:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Spotted on X:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Going viral on Twitch:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Just shared via Reddit:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Going viral on YouTube:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Going viral on WeChat:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Just landed via Instagram:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Spotted on Telegram:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨